What to do when your ldr is getting tough – part two

HER VIEW

Lets state the obvious… LDR is tough! It will probably be one of the hardest things you will face in your relationship. A year into our LDR, I started to feel the heat. I hated staying at home friday nights when all my single friends were on dates, and all my couple friends were doing cute getaways. Facebook was my worst enemy, seeing all those happy couples when you’re in your PJs on SKYPE…it just doesn’t seem fair.

BUT even though you can’t change the situation, you can and must change your perspective.

Changing your mind-set about the situation is one of the things that got me through. One of my close friends who also was in a LDR told me this and I think that was the tipping point.

” At the end you have to decide, whether to sacrifice a few months or years in order to spend a lifetime with someone you love.”  If you’re not sure then ask yourself these two questions:
1) When you close your eyes and see your self 5 years down the line, do you see this person next to you?

If you answer No, then I think you can stop reading the rest of this post because you already know your answer.

– If you answered Yes, then keep reading on. This is good, actually its pretty frickin awesome! It means you are committed to this, it’s not just a fling or something your wasting your time on. Ask your partner the same question to see if your on the same page.

2) Whats waiting for you at the end of your LDR time apart?

– Are the missed friday night dates, and long Skype and phone conversations going to pay off at the end. When you both are together does your significant other make you feel respected, loved and cared for? These are the questions you have to ask yourself before trying to get through a LDR.

TIPS ON GETTING THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES LIKE A BOSS

1) Talk to your significant other– He/She is the only other person who knows exactly what is going on between you both. By talking I don’t mean starting off with a list of things that the relationship is missing, because that could be taken defensively. Also, nothing is going to get fixed. Start off with letting them know that you just need to talk and vent.

2) Let your sweetie pamper you– I don’t mean asking him/her to spend money, I mean let them know you are feeling a bit blahh…and let them know you want to be taken care of. A lot of people feel weird about this. Like it’s some icky topic but that’s the wrong way of looking at it. Relationship is defined as “the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other.” You are making an effort to be in a relationship so that effort has to be reciprocated and vice versa. If you feel like your other half is going through a tough time be there for them.

3) Pick up a hobby– It’s your time to grow! You have what a lot of Non-LDR don’t have ..both your freedom, independence and being in a relationship! You wont get the chance to be in the relationship slump a lot of couples face after a while. You know when all his friends are your friends and you don’t go anywhere without your partner. That dependency is what a lot of us face. But this time period apart will break those habits and retrain you to be the best individuals you can be and in return be better for each other. Use this time to explore the things that you love. Do you like making things? Then start a small ETSY business (FREE), Did you want to get fit? Use the time you have between visits as a goal to meet a weight loss goal.

4) Get off Facebook– Seriously! Try taking a week or two off FB and see just how much better you feel. People tend to over exaggerate about everything on FB, same applies to all the perfect couple pictures and weekend getaways. Getting offline helps you reevaluate whats important to you in the relationship and not the materialistic things.

5) Be Good To Yourself– Pat yourself in the back for doing all the things you do. Appreciate the strength inside you that allows you to be in a tough relationship. Be happy with yourself. If you don’t know how to do that then maybe that’s something you can focus on. Someone told me once said “only you can make yourself happy, nobody else can do it for you.”

Love yourself the way you want to be loved. You only get what you put out into the world.